New Beginnings and New Attitudes♥

This past weekend I decided to go completely out of my comfort zone and travel 2 hours away from my home, family and boyfriend for a girls weekend. Big whoop right? Well for me it is a BIG WHOOP. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and these are heightened when I am out of my safety bubble, but it had to be done. I wanted to push myself and gain a little bit of independence. I was excited to do this and to have a relaxing weekend of sun bathing and wine. At first this was exactly what we did, at first. Going on a trip with single girls while I am in a beyond committed relationship created situations that I did not sign up for. First, it was not a girls trip as all they wanted to do was search for men. I of course, not wanting to revolve the trip around myself, went along for the ride and free drinks. But of course drinking and girls = DRAMA. That is exactly what ended up happening. To make a very long story short, I ended up getting into an argument with one of my friends which led to her refusing me a room key and throwing my stuff outside of the room. This led to the only decision I could think of....have boyfriend come rescue me and bring me home. Of course at first I felt to guilty and upset that I had left them to go home. I cried and tried to explain and even sent apology flowers, all to no avail. Then I got to thinking about exactly what had happened during the weekend. I had been pushed far out of my comfort zone and tried to make the best of it all while having a high level of anxiety. I was left in a parking lot at 1:30 in the morning alone. If I had been given a room key I would've gone back and calmed myself down and everything would've been fine. But I was not given that chance and was left in a situation that could've potentially been very dangerous. Can you blame me for leaving? I sure can't anymore.
Going through this experience taught me multiple lessons. Everything happens for a reason and I need to trust that God has a plan. God brings people in and out of our lives, I know that this friend and I are on very different paths and this happened so I could see that and be ok with moving on. I have so much to be thankful for and am so blessed. I need to stop thinking about what I am missing and look around at all the beautiful things in my life. I am moving on to a new beginning with a new attitude and only have room for positive people and positive outcomes. Sitting here writing this and drinking some vino, I can't help but smile knowing there is a brighter, happier future awaiting me♥

Xoxo, Amy