Life is Finally Starting to Begin....

For a while there, I was depressed about life. Where I was in life, where I was heading, what dreams and goals fell through the cracks. I felt as though I was stuck and couldn't see the future getting brighter. I woke up one day and said to myself, "Snap Out Of It!". If I wanted to be happy then I needed to make myself happy. I needed to get over the past and look towards the future. I am happy to say that I have done this and feel so much better about everything.

I have so much to look forward to and who cares if I didn't make it as a famous dancer. I can still dance and take acting classes and experiment with baking on the side. You don't have to give up on your passions just because you can't have it be your main career, make money at it, or become famous. You do it because it makes you happy, which is exactly what I am doing. Choose one main career path/goal/major that you will be happy doing and can be your source of income and participate in any and all passions creating a well rounded and happy life.

I am finally in the clear from depression and am on my way to a new life. A life that yes, at first I was afraid of because it is not where I had pictured it to be, but a life that is much better than I imagined. It took me a while to see that, but it is the truth. I have a great relationship and get to look forward to a life with him and all that it will entail. I also found my niche with work and am full of excitement for the coming year of school. Hands down I have the best family in the world and great friends. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and am ready for my life and begin a new chapter.

Not being able to make up my mind is a blessing. I am full of life and want to make the most out of it and I refuse to stick with one thing. I can do it all!

New Blog!

I started a second blog: Amy Jo Radio . Follow it and let me know what you think. It's basically all music videos which create great playlists for you. The radio blows these days so I'm bringing you old and new music from all genres. Check it out! xoxo Ames

Where are they now? 90's Teen Heartthrob Edition

SO my mom and I were watching Oprah's teen heartthrob show tonight. Got me thinking about the teen heartthrobs that I grew up with and where are they now? The investigation begins...[insert spy music]

Heartthrob #1:

 LUKE PERRY

  Heartthrob in the 90's: His roll as Dylan Mckay on Beverly Hills 90210

What he is up to now: Perry is still hot as ever and still acting. You can catch him guest starring on TNT's Leverage.

Heartthrob #2:

JTT

 

Heartthrob in the 90's: His many movies and role on Home Improvement

What he is up to now: Jonathan Taylor Thomas can be seen in random guest appearances and last known to be attending Columbia University.

Heartthrob #3:

DEVON SAWA

 Heartthrob in the 90's: His many roles in movies such as Casper, Now and Then, and Idle Hands

Where he is now: Still acting! You can catch him in his movie Endure coming Spring 2010 and guest starring on the new hit show Nikita.

Heartthrob #4:

JORDAN KNIGHT

 

Heartthrob in the 90's: NKOTB! (If you don't know what that is then shame on you!)

Where he is now: Still looking fine and singing! Even doing reunion tours with NKOTB!

Heartthrob #5:

MARK PAUL GOSSELAAR

 

Heartthrob in the 90's: His role as Zach Morris on Saved By The Bell

Where he is now: Still making girls melt with his green eyes. You can catch him on TNT's Franklin and Bash.

Heartthrob #6:

NICK CARTER

  Heartthrob in the 90's: Sang in the ever popular Backstreet Boys

Where he is now: Still has that sexy smile and doing a BSB reunion tour with NKOTB. Beat up Paris Hilton, had a Drug problem and still dating fake breasted bimbos.

Ahhh these heartthrobs can still make me feel like I'm twelve years old! I left out the obvi ones like JT, Usher, and Leo....Who were your heartthrobs????

RIP Iphone

:Insert Dramatic Music:

It's a sad day in the world. My beloved Iphone took an accidental dip in the sink. As he lay dying, I asked him why he would do such a thing, he knows he can't swim. Coughing out his response he replied that he thought he could float. As I stroked his white frame, a tear rolled down my face as I replied, no Iphone, you can't float, I wish you would've asked me as I would have explained that you are too heavy to float, not to mention you are deathly allergic to water. Coughing and spitting out water he sighed and said how much I meant to him. He told me that I was the best owner and I told him that I loved spending countless hours playing different apps and downloading music. He said the favorite part of his short lived life was when I would put him to my ear and whisper sweet nothings. As he took his last breath he said I'll see you in heaven and told me that if I needed to move on to a different Iphone, then I should as life is too short. RIP Iphone, you were the best!

The Realization That Death is Inevitable...

It has been quite a while since my last post so let me catch you up on what's been going on in my life as of late. I found an amazing job as an internet marketer! At times it can be repetitive and boring, being in front of a computer screen all day, but I don't have someone hovering over my shoulder and have freedom to market the company as I see fit. I'm making the most of it as it could lead to amazing opportunities, possibly starting my own business marketing companies through social media. This is also directly in line with the new major that I picked, communications-journalism. A couple of weeks into the new job and my grandmother fell and broke her hip. Long story short, she's been in a nursing home for the past couple of years and this inevitable fall lead to her death. Going through only the second death I've had to deal with (both of them being within a year from each other) made my crazy mind start thinking about death and the inevitability of it. I know that I am once again a late bloomer in this department, but I can't stop thinking how scary death is. How scary it is that we will all die one day. Going through this and having non-stop thoughts about death started making me question my faith in God. I have always been a strong believer in a higher being and that when we die, our spirit lives on in another world. Well you can imagine the surprise and shock that I had when my mind started wondering what if that weren't true. What if we don't go anywhere when we die, what if it is just a never ending black abyss, and what if there is no God and therefore, no purpose for us being here? What if we were just an "accident"? I felt as though I was suffocating with doubt. One day I woke up and decided that enough was enough. I know that I am "depressed" but A. refuse to let it control my life and B. refuse to stifle any emotion with medication. Happiness is a mood, not a destination. Happiness comes and goes and so does depression. Coming to this realization has helped me through this scary and lonely state of mind and I know that who I am and who I am about to be are all that matters. As hard as it is sometimes, I need to live in the now and be happy with my life, because we only get one.

I'm Only Twenty-Four...So Why Do I Feel 40?

It's been a while since I've written and feel this post is long overdue. Growing up I have been surrounded by adults and always remember them saying for every birthday, I can't believe how old I am. I always rolled by eyes and thought that they were crazy. I finally understand what, particularly the women, were talking about. I cannot believe I'm 24! I feel like it was yesterday when I was running around town with my friends at 15 and didn't have a care in the world. How did time pass so quickly!?! I can feel depression creeping up on me and don't know how to stop it. Since the last time I wrote a lot has changed in my life. I am taking 19 units this semester (FML), and had to quit both of the conflicting jobs that I had. I have also decided to change majors. Again. I can feel the support system in my life slipping and can feel the gossip behind my back. I don't want to be a fuck up. I don't want to disappoint my family. But I want to do what I feel is right and necessary for myself in order to be happy in the long run. I know that life is not easy, believe me I have found this out the hard way, but I am still holding on strong to my belief that you can find a career that makes you happy. A job where you jump out of bed in the morning because you are so excited to go to work. The problem is I have no idea what job that might be. Teaching does not fit the mold anymore. If I were to become a teacher I feel that it would be settling because it's an easy job to get. I started imagining my life as a teacher and it only made me depressed. I hate school, why would I want to be stuck in a classroom for the rest of my life? I am excited about finding a new career path. I am thinking about communications or marketing as a major and have read that there are tons of job prospects with either degree option. No one talks about how hard it is for a women in their twenties. Like I said in previous posts, growing up is very weird, confusing, and hard. I just can't seem to find a path and my anxiety always seems to pop up at the times when I'm already stressed enough. I look at people my age and wonder how they do it. Maybe they hide it really well but how are they able to get through life without any worries and find exactly where they fit in this world. I try to look at the bright side of life and how blessed I am, but right now, I can't seem to find myself and get back to the real me. I guess all that I can do is hope that I am helping others who are going through the same thing through my writing.

Life is Short...

Too many people have been lost. As I sit here and say goodbye to yet another high school alum, I think about the days when we were all innocent and had the rest of our lives ahead of us. I think about all the familiar faces and how much time has passed. I think about how much people have changed throughout the years. How different I perceived their life turning out to be. How different they probably thought their life would be. I feel sad for those that were lost along the way and my heart aches for those who are just as lost as I am. Growing up is a very weird experience. For some it can destroy them. For others it can take them places they never expected or predicted. Personally I try my best to look at each day as a new beginning. A new opportunity to fulfill dreams and goals. Looking back through my yearbook, there are too many faces that have disappeared, lost in the world or up above watching over us. It only breaks my heart even more to know that more and more will slowly fade away. I guess you expect to lose people in your life, I only wish it wasn't at such young ages. They all had so much a head of them. They also had dreams and goals they wanted to accomplish, and just like that, they are gone. Life is short. Too short. So take the time to tell the ones you love that you love them. Cherish the memories we make every day. Live each day as though it's your last. Make every second count. Above all have no regrets.

RIP Jesse, Kelcie, Devin, Casie, Ryan, Mike, Henry, Paul, Danny, Ashlyn, and anyone else that was taken far too young.

No Regrets

Have you ever thought about where you would be had you made one decision a different choice? I've thought about this at moments throughout my life. What if I had gotten decent grades in high school? Would I have gone straight to a university instead of screwing around in community college? Would I have had a better indication on what I wanted out of life? Would I have had better opportunities? I don't know where life would've taken me had I made different choices throughout my life. All that I know is I believe in Fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I choose to live by it. For example, the end of my sophmore year of high school, I was kicked off the cheerleading squad. Most of you will say, big effing deal. To me it was the end of the world. Cheerleading was all that I had. Fast forward a couple months to the summer before my junior year in high school. I went to a friends house and met the man of my dreams and eight years later, we are still going strong. Get to the point, well if I had not been kicked off cheer, I would've never met my boyfriend. I would've had cheer practice early the next day, and not have been able to go to the friends house who introduced us. When you get down on yourself for making a "mistake", try looking at it in a different way. That mistake just might be the best thing to ever happen to you. For me, getting kicked off cheer not only led me to the love of my life, but also changed my life and made me into the person that I am today. Live life to the fullest and have no regrets!

Optimism Holds the Key to Happiness

Along with pursuing my new dream of becoming an author, I also own and operate my own business. I am one of the lucky people who will not be satisfied working a job I am not happy in, just for the money. I have even been quoted by my boyfriend saying, "I don't care if we live in a cardboard box, as long as we are happy, healthy, and together". Being the sole owner and backbone of a business is definitely hard work and very stressful, but totally worth it. I get to wake up every day and do what I love. How many people get to say that? I truly believe that if everyone was in a job that they loved, then this world would be a better place. Maybe there wouldn't be world peace or anything, but there would definitely be less road rage, less divorce and deadbeat Dads, less abuse and less violence. I understand that not everyone has that choice, but what we do have is the ability to take a different outlook on our current situations. Whenever you are stressed, upset, depressed, angry, and hating life, just remember: it could always be worse. Make a choice, right here and right now, to look at life optimistically. Take more time for yourself, spend more time with your family, and remember to enjoy the wonderful little things that life has to offer. Before you take your anger out on someone else, stop and think about what they might be going through.
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller
amyjohnsen.com

Epiphany

I woke up this morning and had an epiphany about my life. Jumping out of bed I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I don't want to be a teacher anymore". Well, this is only half true. I do want to be a teacher, but I don't want teaching to be my ultimate career goal. Feeling deja vu all over again, (I had had an epiphany once before during my freshman year of college changing from interior design to dance) fear rushed over my body as I realized I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. Sitting down in front of the computer I decided to take random quizzes to see what my career path should be. Obviously a computer generated quiz was not going to answer my question. So I sat for a long time looking at the sky and thinking what I wanted out of life. Where I wanted to live, how much time I wanted to have with my non existent children, and did I want to spend the majority of my day teaching in a classroom or working in an office? No. So I asked myself the question one more time: what do I want to do with my life? The answer, write. I have always loved writing. From creating fiction stories to writing songs and poems. Every essay I have written throughout college has gotten great reviews and grades. So it is decided. I am going to become a writer and what better place to begin than to have my own blog. Warning to the organized: I am very spontaneous, hence the name of the blog, so my topics will be random but full of optimism (unless I'm in a bad mood) and creativity. I hope you all enjoy my Spontaneous State of Mind!