I'm Only Twenty-Four...So Why Do I Feel 40?

It's been a while since I've written and feel this post is long overdue. Growing up I have been surrounded by adults and always remember them saying for every birthday, I can't believe how old I am. I always rolled by eyes and thought that they were crazy. I finally understand what, particularly the women, were talking about. I cannot believe I'm 24! I feel like it was yesterday when I was running around town with my friends at 15 and didn't have a care in the world. How did time pass so quickly!?! I can feel depression creeping up on me and don't know how to stop it. Since the last time I wrote a lot has changed in my life. I am taking 19 units this semester (FML), and had to quit both of the conflicting jobs that I had. I have also decided to change majors. Again. I can feel the support system in my life slipping and can feel the gossip behind my back. I don't want to be a fuck up. I don't want to disappoint my family. But I want to do what I feel is right and necessary for myself in order to be happy in the long run. I know that life is not easy, believe me I have found this out the hard way, but I am still holding on strong to my belief that you can find a career that makes you happy. A job where you jump out of bed in the morning because you are so excited to go to work. The problem is I have no idea what job that might be. Teaching does not fit the mold anymore. If I were to become a teacher I feel that it would be settling because it's an easy job to get. I started imagining my life as a teacher and it only made me depressed. I hate school, why would I want to be stuck in a classroom for the rest of my life? I am excited about finding a new career path. I am thinking about communications or marketing as a major and have read that there are tons of job prospects with either degree option. No one talks about how hard it is for a women in their twenties. Like I said in previous posts, growing up is very weird, confusing, and hard. I just can't seem to find a path and my anxiety always seems to pop up at the times when I'm already stressed enough. I look at people my age and wonder how they do it. Maybe they hide it really well but how are they able to get through life without any worries and find exactly where they fit in this world. I try to look at the bright side of life and how blessed I am, but right now, I can't seem to find myself and get back to the real me. I guess all that I can do is hope that I am helping others who are going through the same thing through my writing.